Movie: G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra

Hot on the heels of the first “Transformers” sequel (this summer’s biggest blockbuster so far) comes another noisy, action-packed, mega-budgeted war flick based on a line of toys from Hasbro. These days, isn’t moviemaking all about redefining your brand and exploiting merchandising revenue?

The storyline and world of “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” bears very little resemblance to the toys – sorry, “action figures” – that many of us played with as kids. Apparently during the mid-eighties there was also an animated TV show. Anyway, the new movie features life-sized military heroes and everything you might expect from a Hollywood smash hit: daring exploits, explosions, drama, chaos, surprise twists, and a budget bigger than the GDP of a small country. (Reportedly this high-tech action movie cost $175 million to produce.)

Dashing from the Egyptian desert to the submarine depths below the polar ice caps, the elite G.I. JOE military force uses futuristic spy and military equipment to fight the corrupt arms dealer Destro, and the growing threat of the mysterious Cobra terrorist organization, in order to prevent him from plunging the world into chaos. Good guys versus Bad Guys – ’nuff said.

The good guys from "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra."

Interestingly, in this modern take on the G.I. Joe franchise, there’s less of an emphasis on the soldiers as “real American heroes.” Rather, it’s more of an inclusive, United Nations-style, international elite group of troopers who are invited to join this highly classified military unit, with its unlimited budget for high-tech weaponry and toys.

While it takes some time for them to fit in with the others, there’s plenty of good-natured and funny banter between the two best friends, played by Channing Tatum and Marlon Wayans, who are enlisted in this war against that evil terrorist empire.

Fiery red-head Scarlett (played by Rachel Nichols) is convincing as the tough femme of their band of fighters, holding her own against conflicted, yet equally capable, villain The Baroness, played by Sienna Miller. Here is an actress who is confident and sexy enough to sell the idea that jealous lovers would kill any rival that even looked at her.

Sienna Miller goes raven-haired to play the villain in "G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra."

The special effects during the endless battles and fight sequences were reasonably impressive, yet the action is choppily and frantically edited. I guess that’s okay for kids and teens with average multi-tasking abilities. The acting all round was solid and the story was intriguing enough to maintain interest, while the many flashback sequences leant some welcome depth to the characterizations.

A pro-war movie posing as a sci-fi action thriller, “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” is a big, dumb, popular popcorn spectacle all about boys and girls and their destructive toys. Be advised – the cliffhanger ending indicates a sequel is inevitable.

A side note about the sound level of movies these days: the legal level of sound volume for a major motion picture’s presentation is 85db, and that’s loud! According to an educated guess by a sound expert, our press screening was pitched at well over 100db. In other words, it was ridiculously earsplitting. It’s really not at all fun to watch an action movie with your fingers plugged into your ears for half its duration.

So here’s hoping when you see “G.I. Joe,” you won’t have to endure painfully high sound levels at your cinema. If you do, please complain to the management AND the movie studio!

Rated: PG-13
Stars: Channing Tatum, Sienna Miller, Marlon Wayans, Dennis Quaid, Jonathan Pryce, Rachel Nichols, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Byung Hun Lee, Arnold Vosloo, Ray Park
Director: Stephen Sommers

Studio/Official Site: http://www.gijoemovie.com/

[Pauline Adamek is a Hollywood-based film, theater, and food critic who files for “FilmInk Australia,” the “LA Daily News,” “Sun Community Newspapers” as well as various websites under the "nom du net" Max Million.]